rain and pour

Heyyo  bebeh, uwu

Come back after been away for a month or so. Caught in a tremendous works, loads of stuff need to be submitted and projects to be discussed. And with my co-curriculum side, five weeks of training till I can’t even recognize my own face because I involved with marching and we entered the jungle to make our own village, survival concept ugh. So yeah, our weekly training have done but still for this midterm break as we, again involved with marching for convocation. There’ll be many people who will look up at us, we are great uhuh just as our training, so great yeah 'so great' HAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay done with that, I guess I just have to say that I’m busy lo

Urm, I’ve got this stuff all over my mind for weeks now, I feel bad because if I gonna say this here, it’s like I’m making excuses to do it as I want, to feel that I deserve to do this, it’s just chaotic. I hate this feeling but I just thought that I need to UGH FML

Y’know, sometimes we feel suffocated without knowing the reason behind it. That’s me, I feel like it right now. I feel suffocated by some people around me and that makes me stop looking for them and try to distance myself. This is why I said I feel bad. I know they don’t deserve it but at the same time I really think that I really need it. I need some space for myself, to figure out what happen to me. Such a selfish jerk right? I tried my hard to avoid them and even make it obvious, it was bad right? I keep making excuses to whatever they say and want. OH GOD WHY IS THIS SO HARDDDDDD I HATE THISSSSSSS UGH

For the time being, I just want to get associated with my university’s friends only. Too much things to be discussed with them, I really can’t catch up everything. I didn’t even want to know anything outside of my university.

I don't live because I can't die
But I'm chained to something

||||| But still, me being an ARMY doesn’t stop me to follow up their stories, news as that were the only thing that can entertain myself. I do chat with friends that mostly are ARMY too to talk about all of these, just to let my mind wonder things other than studies. Well we need refreshments after all. I really need another entertainment to motivate myself, to end the day with smile. It’s hard when people think I can cope with everything easily when the truth is I’m dying inside.|||||

I wouldn’t say I didn’t say anything that bothers me to my friend, because we all share the same thing. I did tell some of em my private stories because I really can’t keep it by myself. It’s hard and I’ve tried. I mean that I still talk to some of my friends about other things too )':

Ugh I can’t work out my explanation, still a mess. But my point is, I want to apologize to some people whom I treated badly for being selfish. I just want the comfort myself without thinking others’ feeling. I really feel like a mess, like a jerk, an asshole, fuck I feel so bad right now uhhh I even cried thinking of this

im sorry. good night, have a really nice dream y'all (':

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13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112 - A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

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