Ravaged

you broke me first.

you, that’s me.

i ruined myself. after all this time, it’s always been me. no one should take the blame for how damaged i am right now. if only people know how severe the damages had been done, i don’t think anyone would go near me. it’s as if i still have the nerve to show my face anywhere, to joke with someone, to laugh when it’s not funny at all, to say stuff that should be left deep inside my mind. i wonder how they would look at me, is it with disgusting face? scandalous? terrific? meh after all, shits happened and i couldn’t care less.

people asked what’s on my mind, and i just brushed them off. it’s too chaotic. too much noises in my head. too much explicit thoughts. might be censored if it’s need to be broadcasted lol. couldn’t handle everything inside my brain. the thoughts that keep crawling every time i go to bed. the itch to do the stuff my mind keep telling me. the eagerness in me that always come out in my dreams; or could i say nightmares. 

black; my favorite color (: suffocating but the pleasure it brings creeping in my blood. what happen if everything turn black? can we see what’s ahead of us? can we survive in the spacious place when it feels like we’re drowning? how to get out of it? the need to stay in the dark space and all alone have been bugging my mind. i think too much behind my unbothered facade and it’s frightening.

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13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112 - A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

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