Hii

 

Hiii

em

I’m starting to hate doing this.

Writing just to let out all of these. To the point that I don’t think it will get better anytime soon. I know I’ve been saying the same thing. Again. For so long. For years. For many times now. This is getting tiring. The miseries seems abundant and can’t be healed. Guess I lost words for how sucks my life are now. 

Everything seems to be just a distraction, to stop myself from being so miserable. To forget that myself isn’t someone that I wanted to be. Even crying won’t help now. I started to hate myself. There’s so many regrets. Too many that I don’t think I can change but to be very honest, I can change it. I just don’t have the courage. I’m not good with taking the first step. The selfishness in me seems overpowering myself. I’m, just tired.

When someone told me their stories or when I read, I realise my problems are nothing. They had it tougher, harder and harsher. But here I am, whining like a kid doesn’t get what she wants. Like for real, my problems are nothing at all. Everything is just within myself. My mindset and attitudes. Oh god, I hate myself. Sometimes I do wish that……I can be gone for good. But again, I’m a sinful person, full of debt, haven’t done anything to make my parents and family proud, yet I have this thought. I’d just be leaving them debt to pay, shame when I died. I’m just tired.

Yeah, I’m tired.

I can’t even cry.

I can’t even tell this to anyone.

I told them too much already.

Even my bffs left me.

I mean, how can they stay with me when I’m the one who wronged them.

I deserved it.

And why tf did I make new friends? 

Just to feel even more desperate?

I hope everyone happy when they thought they are better off without me.

I don’t even think I can make myself happy.

I got attached easily and got away as fast as possible.

I’m rambling.

As usual.

Just a moron writing random stuff

Silly me 

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13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112 - A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

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