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The One That Got Away - Brielle Von Hugel
0:01 ❍─────── 2:20
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺
I shouldn’t be crying over sad song like this. But here I am, crying my heart out just because I missed you so bad. My vision blurry as I’m writing this but the feeling is so immense, the pain of nights from years ago comes back haunting me. It’s been years for fuck sake but why I couldn’t move on yet. I wish I didn’t know you feel the same pain, I wish you never told me, I wish I never contacted you again.
I still remember I was crying every night for a month in this small room, wondering why you ignored me for that long and you always gave the same answer. I asked myself again and again what did I do wrong back then. You kept me in the dark and replying with short sentence each and every night that time. I feel pity for myself, my eyes that swollen because I keep crying until I was asleep, my tears that seems to never end. It’s just hurt. And you did the same thing again. I didn’t cry out loud because I wasn’t in this safe place anymore. It hurts because I tried to not think about you and messed up with my study but apparently, I’m a fool. Either my head full of you or not, I’m still a stupid me. A month later after that, you broke up with me. Yeah, they say you can’t cry in pain when things happened but when it hit you that the breakup really happens, you cried like there’s no tomorrow. I was so broken-hearted but I couldn’t do anything much. We didn’t contact each other for months and that one night, I was driven by something and did the silly stuff again. You told me you still love me.
You still love me.
Until this day.
I love you too.
But we couldn’t get back together.
There’s no “us” again.
We are just not meant for each other.
You are me now, and I’m you.
I’m still approachable but I’m not the same me. I’m not the clingy girl you dated before. I don’t share my problems and secrets like I used to. I don’t start conversations as I did back then. I’m no longer a girlfriend material this time.
I don’t know if it’s maturity or another version of me, but I’m just scarred. There’s so much things I could’ve blamed you for but after many talks we had, I know I have my fair of faults. The mistakes I made, the selfish requests, blind jealousy and all, tho you said I never make that or rather you said you never felt like that. You said you liked all about me but yeah, it’s just we aren’t meant for each other.
No matter how many times I cried over this, I’m still in pain. I truly hope you don’t feel it, I hope you can feel happy despite whatever happen to us now. I’m sorry, and thank you.
