[ Face Yourself ]

Hello peeps, Avie here. Just an ordinary girl who wants to share her 2cents and rant about stuff that only can be written, well have fun guys and do follow me. Btw, hit me up at the chatbox below yeayy. Thank you for coming to my ted talk xoxo

Monday 31 December 2018

promise












Promise?


Yeah. I’m gonna make a promise to myself, about me, my family, my friends and those around me (no matter if they would just a mere acquaintances or nothing at all)


Why tho?


I got this inspiration from my beloved oppa, jimin. He just released a song last night, entitled ‘Promise’. The lyrics hit me hard and I almost cry. It seems stupid but I guess we have different preferences. I’ve been hard to  myself; I feel useless, terrible, my existence is nothing, I can’t forgive myself for my past, I can’t get myself together, I let myself get stray away by this feelings.


I might have those who close to me but I have my own dark side, that I can assure you if they know, they would be disappointed with me. Can’t let them know (but I’m such a moronic for telling this here ammirite?) Nahh, I’m just giving some hint about myself. There are so many things that I hide, things that might scar people to life.


It’s been a while since I’m trying to love myself when I have is self-hatred, gradually polluting my mind, all the fake hopes I’m living with and all the fake love I’m trying to develop in my heart. I always have these thoughts of; I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve good things, that I’m just good enough to be a sidekick, that I don’t belong here, that the misfortune really eat me up and so fucking more and believe me it’s the worst.


By saying this, I don’t think that I’m the only who always have these kind of negative vibe. I bet most people would feel the same, it’s just the severity isn’t the same, the level of self-hatred, the amount those people fake their smiles and laugh just to cover up the thoughts. Even if it just a mere seconds.
However, am not going to reveal the pathetic side of me. Instead, am going to just make a little promise to myself. To ensure I can love and treasure myself more. Things that people take lightly might be the biggest thing in others’ lives. It really depends on somebody’s liking.



So here we goes, my little promises (wish me luck bubs);


  • For me, I’m going to build up my confidence more. No matter how fucked up people seen me, but I guess showing them that they’re wrong is the best revenge.

  • I’m not going to throw myself away, even if I feel lonely multiple times in a day.

  • I’m gonna be honest to myself and not to abandon my feeling, gonna treat it like a softie. Sounds absurd because we sometimes forget to focus on our feelings for the sake of others’ happiness.

Bangtan said, face yourself so that you can love yourself.

  • So I’m gonna face all the weakness, shortcoming, flaw, imperfections. Those are the thing can hold me from being success and happy. Most important fact, I can’t love myself if I can’t embrace the imperfections part of me. Gonna embrace all of me and love myself because that’s the key of everything, love.



Anyways, here a short message for those whoever that ever came into my life within this year (':

Thank you for everything. And sorry for all my shortcomings. We might be in a good terms or maybe we're not. Things happened, people come and go. Those who stays, please stay longer. Let's make more memories, spend more time together, play around more. Those who gone, good luck with whatever you're doing. Forgive me, if it me who push you away or maybe it's me who makes you walk away from me. Still, everyone of you is part of my life. At some days, I would missed you too, I bet I miss the memories. Guys, whenever you're pls be careful, take care of yourself, eat a lot, play more, enjoy your life, spread more love, be happy and please, if you feel stressed, talk to anyone, rant somewhere and let it out. I hope 2019 will be a better year for all of us. Okay, time's up.

It's the ending of 2018, so Happy New Year bubs <3












I want you to be your light, baby. You should be your light. 


-lots of love, veeeavieee

13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

Wednesday 26 December 2018

so far away





Hello guys.



Well, Merry Christmas for those who celebrating it, I'm not that late kan HOHOHO


So how have y'all been? Are things okay in your life? Is there anything that keep yourself from being happy? I hope y'all feel okay, for whatever happen in currently. Find things that can make you happy, even in the slightest moment of your life (':



I cried last night. It’s just one moment and it’s not that bad. I listened to sad songs these days and it really bothers me, my mind and my feeling. Things have been worse because I received some bad news almost the same time and I guess that’s triggered me to cry. I looked like a fool for crying like that. It’s funny because all of it is my fault.




Study? Just the same, it’s bad as it is. I’m sorry mom and dad, I might disappoint you more after this. I’m not a good daughter to you both as well. I dwell on my feelings more than my study. I let myself getting wrecked for this silly stuff of mine, when you both are working hard to give me all. I cant even say I miss you I love you because I’m feel embarrassed to do so. Hahaha isn’t I terrible? But mom, dad, I love you both. I just need to say it somehow and anywhere will count. I’m sorry mom, dad.



Best friend? Out of things in my life, I really hate this part. It’s not hate like I hate my best friend but I’m aware that I’m not good with this friendship(s). Yes, I have many groups of best friend. And it hurts me that I don’t do good things to them. I often left them hanging, treating them nonchalantly, cursing them, and the most important thing is that I’m not there when they needed me. Besides, I always act like I don’t have best friend, oh gosh what a jerk HAHAHAHAHA I tried to make friends because that’s how naturally I am, but the moment I started to befriend with em, that kind of spark doesn’t really there. I love them of course, if not why would I stay with em. It’s just I don’t think I deserve them. They could get a better (best) friend than me. I’m sorry buddies.



As y’all reading this, I might get if anyone of you will say, ‘’ then get yourself together and treat them better you asshole’’ , ‘’they really need to get out of your grasp’’ and so on. Call me negative thinker or what but that’s how I am. I feel insecure every time even at the time i’m with anyone. It’s just…..come into my mind, invaded my mind and telling me that I don’t deserve them, they don’t deserve me, I am bad, I am a fucked up girl. Hahahaha



Avie in the end of 2018 is not same with the beginning of the year. It’s like two different people because of the character, experience and stuff. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy the days left before we get into 2019.


13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

Monday 10 December 2018

everythingoes






Hello peeps ((':


Here I am again. Writing for the second entry for this month. Adding new things to be left in 2018. Knowing that this might stay for longer, as memory. It's 2 in the morning, I should be sleeping but nahh, I'll try to write few stuff. 



I've become someone new. Like not really new, but just some part of it. It feels different after what had happened last night. I made a scene, LOL RAN AWAY FROM MY ROOM TO NOWHERE. Why? I don't know, nan molla. Hmm nahh, I just don't feel good crying over things in my room, while they're all awake. Like how do you gonna cover up your puffy face after crying saying you're okay? I can't. So I decided I would take a walk, going somewhere just to calm myself. I just followed wherever I go. 



Really, I feel bad for leaving them just like that. They called me but I didn't pick it up. I want to but I can't. They texted me, asking me where I am, like what's going on with me. I want to talk but I can't. They're worried about me but I can't don't want they to see me that way. 


The pathetic me. 
The broken me. 
The vulnerable me. 
The fragile me. 
The fucked up me. 


They've always seen me laughing. 
Cracking lame jokes. 
Spilling stupid stories. 
Talking non stop. 



I know they saw me at my lowest point sometimes. But last night, isn't a day for them. Isn't a day for me either. I was so, fucking messed up.



I spent my short time with my other friend, who happened to know that there's something wrong with me and decided to approach me. AND I FUCKING CRIED IN FRONT OF her oh my god. That was unnecessary, I meant cried in front of her. She happened to be there when I broke up with my ex and one of people that saw me cried, a few times. Wondering why I'm so weak lol it's just a guess. She's a good friend of mine, at here. Even if we didn't really hangout together for a while. Thank you again. 



Some of my other friends even asked me if I'm okay. 
To be honest, I was SHOCKED. I didn't think it went like that. I feel embarrassed, fucking ashamed of myself. For being childish. For letting my feelings drown me. For following my stupid act. I made a moronic act, ffs )))': my roommates were so damn worried of me, yet I am still thinking about my feelings. I'm sorry.



And yeah, they found me. And they persuaded me OH NO THEY FORCED me to a beach. To release some stress. To let it all. I wish it was that easy. But I do appreciate it, the sacrifices. It was midnight when we went out. We were just eating fries and ice cream, and sat by the beach. Talking for random stuff and acknowledging that we can't stay out for too long. I felt a bit relieved after that. Thank you.



Today, I spent most of my times sleeping just to get away from reality. I was tired. Physically and emotionally. I don't really talk too much today I guess. Yeah, I just don't feel me today. I tried to cheer myself. I succeeded, okay not really but hey I still smile and laugh and talk more uwu 










I know y'all won't read this, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't talk about everything with you. Sorry for not trying to reach you out. I just can't. And thank you. For taking care of me. For worrying about me. I still feel bad, I need to apologize again. But I can't say it on your face. I'm..ashamed..with my act.. I'm just grateful I have y'all. Good night (':

13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

Saturday 8 December 2018

badbye


Hello guys (':





Again, I'm in a mess. Worse than before. But thank God I still can cover it up in front of my friends. I still can make a joke, I still can laugh, I still can play around in a midst of stress and pressure. I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, okay I TRIED. but in the end, I'm still a mess. 




I'm so fucked-up and I don't care anymore. I don't know what to do with this, so I ended up letting it be, be it better or worse. I'm just following the path without thinking much. Some people can look through me, they know how broken I am, how mess I am. It's okay, it doesn't matter anymore.








I don't do relationship.
One of conclusion that I can agree on right now. I don't know why but I want this.

I don't want to get attached just to hurt them (or myself).

I want some attention but at the same time I don't want it. I guess I'm just a desperate person. Wanted to be noticed but nothing more than that.

I missed being called baby, love and so on but then I'll get cringe and can't stand it.

I want someone to ask me how's my day but at the end of the day, I know I don't want to talk about anything.

I missed when someone get clingy with me to only me getting irritated and suffocated because of the closeness (fuck)

I hate it that I want em to feel appreciated when I'll just gonna ignore them (I'm a jerk ik)








There are so many more things that I want  to happen but I don't want it for damn unknown reason. How do you call this? Stupid? Asshole? Badass? Idk what to call myself though.





This is crazy, I hate the fact that I'm feeling like this. But I feel like I should do it. To make sure people don't get attached to me. To make sure they know what type of person I really am.. To let them sure that I ain't a good girl, but a bitxh instead. To give them a reason to let them get away from me before any bad things happen. When it happen, you can't hate me more than I hate myself.

I'm not degrading myself, I'm just stating facts.
The feelings that come and go, thus make me mad, alone.
I'm not dangerous, I'm just a toxic person.









Dear, I know my blog title is "Love yourself" but I ain't going to do it for now. I'm trying to let y'all to love yourself first, by keeping yourself away from me. You shouldn't let yourself get hurt. No matter what your intention is, just don't. Either being a friend or more than that (which I assumed I'm just perasan yknow). I'm not a good friend, and a worse girlfriend you could think of hahahahaha












Okay this whole entry really a crap, I wish I didn't let y'all read this but I want it to, so here you are; already at the end of the entry. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk and have a nice day (":

13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

Wednesday 7 November 2018

rain and pour


















Heyyo  bebeh, uwu

Come back after been away for a month or so. Caught in a tremendous works, loads of stuff need to be submitted and projects to be discussed. And with my co-curriculum side, five weeks of training till I can’t even recognize my own face because I involved with marching and we entered the jungle to make our own village, survival concept ugh. So yeah, our weekly training have done but still for this midterm break as we, again involved with marching for convocation. There’ll be many people who will look up at us, we are great uhuh just as our training, so great yeah 'so great' HAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay done with that, I guess I just have to say that I’m busy lo



Urm, I’ve got this stuff all over my mind for weeks now, I feel bad because if I gonna say this here, it’s like I’m making excuses to do it as I want, to feel that I deserve to do this, it’s just chaotic. I hate this feeling but I just thought that I need to UGH FML









Y’know, sometimes we feel suffocated without knowing the reason behind it. That’s me, I feel like it right now. I feel suffocated by some people around me and that makes me stop looking for them and try to distance myself. This is why I said I feel bad. I know they don’t deserve it but at the same time I really think that I really need it. I need some space for myself, to figure out what happen to me. Such a selfish jerk right? I tried my hard to avoid them and even make it obvious, it was bad right? I keep making excuses to whatever they say and want. OH GOD WHY IS THIS SO HARDDDDDD I HATE THISSSSSSS UGH

For the time being, I just want to get associated with my university’s friends only. Too much things to be discussed with them, I really can’t catch up everything. I didn’t even want to know anything outside of my university.




I don't live because I can't die
But I'm chained to something



||||| But still, me being an ARMY doesn’t stop me to follow up their stories, news as that were the only thing that can entertain myself. I do chat with friends that mostly are ARMY too to talk about all of these, just to let my mind wonder things other than studies. Well we need refreshments after all. I really need another entertainment to motivate myself, to end the day with smile. It’s hard when people think I can cope with everything easily when the truth is I’m dying inside.|||||


I wouldn’t say I didn’t say anything that bothers me to my friend, because we all share the same thing. I did tell some of em my private stories because I really can’t keep it by myself. It’s hard and I’ve tried. I mean that I still talk to some of my friends about other things too )':














Ugh I can’t work out my explanation, still a mess. But my point is, I want to apologize to some people whom I treated badly for being selfish. I just want the comfort myself without thinking others’ feeling. I really feel like a mess, like a jerk, an asshole, fuck I feel so bad right now uhhh I even cried thinking of this









im sorry. good night, have a really nice dream y'all (':








13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

Sunday 23 September 2018

comrade






Holla!




So this time I’m going to talk about friends or just ‘acquaintances’. Why? This is just my experiences. Also, I’m not going to badmouth em, like there’s really no need to do that. I’m just telling my stories and how it affects my life.




First of all, I’m well known as someone that friendly, talkative, laugh loudly and only going to shut up when I’m alone (of course) and when I don’t have answer for the questions I got HAHAHA. When I have problem? I still talk, either me being an asshole to make a joke on others so I can laugh or just stupidly rant to anyone near me. Really, I hate that myself. I always forget that not everyone want to know about my stories, because of many reasons. Yet my mouth can’t stop talking and talking and talking. Me too, really good at making friends, like I’m just gonna ask people their names, talk about random stuff at random places OH GOD. These trait, are completely opposite to my face (or precisely my expression). People always make assumptions on why my face looks sleepy or angry or sad BECAUSE I TELL YOU, THAT’S MY FACE I don’t ask for this. But believe me, when I smile I look better (ouh how silly avie)




Okay, that’s just an intro for those who don’t know me HAHAHAHA (I am good at marketing myself uwu). So back to the main point, y’all can tell how easy for me to make friends and of course I’m gonna have so many friends from different side of places.




I’m sorry but yeah, let’s start. When I was in kindergarten, I was really naughty and probably known as a troublemaker. I love to talk and play around. And then I went  to primary school ( I was in grade 1) where I found my ex-crush’s mom OMFG his mom is a nurse that came to my school and my silly mouth just talked to her like I’ve known her since in my mom’s womb lol.
And of course, this continue till secondary school (boarding school in my case), and this where things started. Y’all know people with each ‘gang’ and it applied to me as well. They’re good people for sure, but me as an asshole (again) I started to get jealous. Like, I just wanna em to be with me, and not others. But I’m allowed to be friends with others while they can’t. I bet y’all can see where is this going ammirite? My jealousy was getting worse and I was getting more possessive wasn’t a good thing to remember ugh. Things were getting heated to the next years and I started to have another ‘gang’ and still, I treated them same as the first gang. It’s like, I’m the leader of the pack and I’m the only one that ruled the gang. We even got in fight because of this and cried. That’s how girls act bruh, fight and cry. But that kind of ‘leader’ or whatsoever ended because I’m moving to another school. Well, having same kind of traits with new people really helped me getting new friends asap. It felt like I was there since earlier. And yeah, things were getting better but I have a new trauma which makes me don’t want to involve with new gang. But somehow, things happened and I can’t say anything anymore. I still have that jealousy all over me for past years and I hate myself  for feeling like that. I can’t even say this because I’m acting like a possessive friend. (okay this is the real me)
At the same time, I got a friend who applied to school next to me. It’s a boarding school as well, a sbp school. Every weekend or every 2 weeks, I went there and spend my time with her. And of course, I made friends too. Gosh, intelligent students around me? I can’t relate HAHAHAHA they don’t even have to ask me when I arrived, because they knew it was for my friend. This went for 2 years and I can say that I really had a great time because of it. Exchanging notes and hint for our biggest exam, SPM because why not HAHAHAHAHA. Then, SPM ended and we all go to different path. My main point for this, I even have (many) friends from other school as well (applause)




Matriculations life? I’m happy as well, but my circle of friends getting smaller due to lack of free time and kind of closed because some people didn’t really open up to make some friends. I used ‘smile’ as my first weapon but guess I failed. Yeah, we were having packed schedule and don’t really go out. Weekends spent with close friends also. I only stick with my ‘gang’, classmates and my roommates, OML <3 Other than that, I didn’t enjoy joining any clubs or sports at the moment, so I guess that’s one of the reasons. A year of matriculations with the friends that I only have was a paradise indeed.




And now, here I am, as a student at one of the university located at somewhere in peninsular, really make it wide range now. i met new friends from matric also, heol we didn’t even know each other during that time and now we are all good, thanks heaven. I found friends from all over the states and yeah I developed some personality because for some reasons, people here don’t really comfortable with how sabahan acts. But I don’t really mind it and it is great that people still accept it wholeheartedly (wow it’s my first time using the word). I have many friends here and I, myself still act silly, more friendly, and talkative more than ever.




Somehow, experiences from previous moments of my life keep me composed more, thinking that I don’t want to experience it again. It hurts to be honest, because friends are made to keep us company, be there when we need em and stick together no matter what happen. However, we are talking about human nature, which is not perfect despite how bad we want em to be. Always bear in mind that quality over quantity. No matter how many friends you have, it’s either 10 or 100 or 1000 people, keep yourself to people who you know you can rely onto, put your trust on em and keep em like a pearl. If you don’t find one, then be one. Be that kind of person that others want to be friend and keep you and believe in you with everything. It’s not easy, but don’t think that you are useless and not important just because you haven’t found one. The best will come. Thank you xoxo (':










To all of my friends, I'll take this moment to apologize for everything I've done, either my words, actions or other stuff. I'm sorry for taking y'all for granted before. I hope things will get better between us. And thank you (': 

13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

Friday 21 September 2018

awake

Hi, hello, heyy (‘:





How long has it been since the last entry? Lol it’s not even a month yet but I’m talking like it’s already a year or so HAHAHAHA I’m sorry, I just donno how to start an entry again. Help me pls, I really need motivation and inspiration ugh



Oh ya, this time I’m gonna say things that have been bothering since last year, or maybe since I’m being a kpop fan , well for some people they will say me as ‘bts fan or army’. Why talking about this suddenly? I have encountered many people that hate on me because I’m a fan of kpop. It’s tiring to explain all of things to em because we know how ignorant people can be, even though they might be the closest to us. After all, they are human, well me too. So I really can’t make them satisfy, that’s not my nature to do so.



Erm first of all, my family. I’m not going to badmouth em, it’s just like a rant because honestly I can’t and never say this in front of them. IT’S DANGEROUS Y’ALL AND I WOULD NEVER DIG MY OWN GRAVE HAHAHHAHAHAH okay my parents are okay with it, or maybe they’re just getting tired of me because I keep claiming that my bias (PARK JIMIN y’all) as my boyfriend HAHAHAHAH even my mom asked me to get a real boyfriend because she can’t stand looking at her desperate daughter lol
                But the real problem is my sister (she’s not really a problem but in some way she is). She keep complaining that I keep on spending money for merchandise posters pictures albums and what so ever, but okay lemme clear this thing out, I didn’t even use their money. I admit I got money for my study but yeah, using it for months in college and for the sake of my stomach, which keep asking for more foods and expensive stuff eww but hey, I joined airforce for nothing, huh? I went training for weeks, exhausted days of weekends, almost a month of annual camp which I attended twice already and that’s how I got my money sisterrrrrrrrr hmm…. I know what you mean of saving money, don’t waste the money they sent to me but look, I’m just using it for my daily stuff. I know where my limit is, I know which money for which stuff so please stop being stereotype, and telling me like I’m a useless daughter just because I have a thing for bts hmm



Next, my fellow friend(s) hah
This could be one person only but nae, this going to be a long list but I guess mentioning their names here won’t get me any benefit. It’s just, guyyyyysss, stop stereotyping me too. Y’all can see me fangirling over my bois every second but guess y’all won’t see my struggles, my good deeds because who gonna show them when you know your own pure intention and He knows it as well. I’m too concern about showing my passion towards them before but it seems like it’s getting worse these days. Because of what?? Maybe I’m getting matured a lil bit, to show anything publicly or talking about it too much especially to those who doesn’t even care about it. Oh gosh, I’m getting nowhere kan.. okay laa, to be honest, there’s two type of friends that I’ve been encountering since then, which is first, those who acknowledged me as a fanatic kpop fans and second, those who acknowledged me as an obsessed army that doesn’t give a fuck about other groups and highly mentioning and praising bts only. These 2 kind of friend really getting on my nerve but I tried to shoo them away. Sometimes you really need to keep yourself away from toxic people HAHAHAHAHA in my case, they are BASICALLY the TOXIC PEOPLE in my life ( idgaf about their lives tho). Okay, people really need to respect other preferences and choices. They somehow managed to respect but with their mouth as well, insulting me like it’s a joke. We really have to work at ourselves to think before saying anything, especially talking bullshit. I wish I can talk more but my writing is getting worse by each word and I’m afraid if my point can’t be delivered (but I think people can’t understand anything anymore because I can’t say it in a wise way or organized way I’m sorry)



Well, for now that’s the only concern I have (about kpop laa) and I really wish I can ignore this, but sadly I can’t. I really want to rant more but it’s almost 0300 now and I have class at 1000. I should be sleeping by now hahahahahaha I don’t know if this entry make me feel a lil bit relieve…. See, I can’t even don’t know how to close this entry but whatever, see y’all again xoxo







13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

Friday 7 September 2018

see and saw



Hii y'all.. It's been a while since the last entry and it's kinda awkward to be here back. It's not that I want to permanently leave it but I'm just using this as a medium to share more about bangtan to sns. I didn't feel really good right now and that explains why no more entry about me ranting my feelings. To be honest, I want to, but since I've been suppressing my feelings a lot, I've become numb when it comes to words. Really, I can't even talk properly about it too.



It's weird how I want to rant more and more when I'm at twitter but when I'm here, I tried to make it simple but that's not the point why are blog is made ammirite? I become another person at different socmed, and it's really tiring. I don't want to but it happens occasionally. Hell, I can't even think of words that suitable now as I don't really write things. Yeah as I said I ranted more on twitter but since it has limited word, I tried to make it short. I've lost (or is it loss) many grammar because of this hahahaha silly me



Hmm actually things have been so rough for these few years, it's really hard that I even changed to this. This, what I mean is, someone that couldn't talk so much about feelings, can't speak freely with anyone, being too judgemental, easily getting triggered about silly stuff, getting paranoid over simple things, and so many more. It's not like I not like that before this, it's just this became worse and I don't like it, really. I want to talk about it but still, my mind my heart my conscience really don't want me to hahahahaha maybe after a while I guess. After I try to open up more, then I'll tell ya.



To be honest (okay is it time for confession lol), I tried to not say anything too much because I'm afraid I might spill more lies. Know when people said 'people who talk too much, tell more lies'?? Bet you've heard this anywhere. People like me, who have many secrets (more to dirty secrets), tend to make another lies to save themselves. And that's make it harder, because we need to remember the lies we told. It's not easy when the stories known to a quite number of people. It's hard to stay stick at A when you have different backgrounds of friends (or acquaintance). Because, when you have A group of friends, you need to tell em A lie. When it comes to B group of friends, you need to tell another lie, which is B lie. And it goes on to C, D, E and the list goes on.



I tried to make it simple but covering some of facts to make another lie. Haha, what am I doing right now omg. How silly am I. Nahh, I'm just explaining you why I don't like talking anymore. Eventho I'm reality life, I'm still a talkative person hahahahah it's not easy to become a silent person at all, pheww.



But here I am again, try to put all my feelings into words, to deliver things that my mouth can't say, to say things that have been wandering in my mind, to anonymous, random people or anyone. Should I cover my identity then? Hahaha oh gosh, I still dont feel at ease at all. Maybe it helps, a lil bit. But never mind, I wish things will get easier as the time flies. Y'all don't really get my point right? Issokay, I don't intend to do so lol..



Thank you for coming to my ted talk xoxo
13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (: