[ Face Yourself ]

Hello peeps, Avie here. Just an ordinary girl who wants to share her 2cents and rant about stuff that only can be written, well have fun guys and do follow me. Btw, hit me up at the chatbox below yeayy. Thank you for coming to my ted talk xoxo

Sunday 23 September 2018

comrade






Holla!




So this time I’m going to talk about friends or just ‘acquaintances’. Why? This is just my experiences. Also, I’m not going to badmouth em, like there’s really no need to do that. I’m just telling my stories and how it affects my life.




First of all, I’m well known as someone that friendly, talkative, laugh loudly and only going to shut up when I’m alone (of course) and when I don’t have answer for the questions I got HAHAHA. When I have problem? I still talk, either me being an asshole to make a joke on others so I can laugh or just stupidly rant to anyone near me. Really, I hate that myself. I always forget that not everyone want to know about my stories, because of many reasons. Yet my mouth can’t stop talking and talking and talking. Me too, really good at making friends, like I’m just gonna ask people their names, talk about random stuff at random places OH GOD. These trait, are completely opposite to my face (or precisely my expression). People always make assumptions on why my face looks sleepy or angry or sad BECAUSE I TELL YOU, THAT’S MY FACE I don’t ask for this. But believe me, when I smile I look better (ouh how silly avie)




Okay, that’s just an intro for those who don’t know me HAHAHAHA (I am good at marketing myself uwu). So back to the main point, y’all can tell how easy for me to make friends and of course I’m gonna have so many friends from different side of places.




I’m sorry but yeah, let’s start. When I was in kindergarten, I was really naughty and probably known as a troublemaker. I love to talk and play around. And then I went  to primary school ( I was in grade 1) where I found my ex-crush’s mom OMFG his mom is a nurse that came to my school and my silly mouth just talked to her like I’ve known her since in my mom’s womb lol.
And of course, this continue till secondary school (boarding school in my case), and this where things started. Y’all know people with each ‘gang’ and it applied to me as well. They’re good people for sure, but me as an asshole (again) I started to get jealous. Like, I just wanna em to be with me, and not others. But I’m allowed to be friends with others while they can’t. I bet y’all can see where is this going ammirite? My jealousy was getting worse and I was getting more possessive wasn’t a good thing to remember ugh. Things were getting heated to the next years and I started to have another ‘gang’ and still, I treated them same as the first gang. It’s like, I’m the leader of the pack and I’m the only one that ruled the gang. We even got in fight because of this and cried. That’s how girls act bruh, fight and cry. But that kind of ‘leader’ or whatsoever ended because I’m moving to another school. Well, having same kind of traits with new people really helped me getting new friends asap. It felt like I was there since earlier. And yeah, things were getting better but I have a new trauma which makes me don’t want to involve with new gang. But somehow, things happened and I can’t say anything anymore. I still have that jealousy all over me for past years and I hate myself  for feeling like that. I can’t even say this because I’m acting like a possessive friend. (okay this is the real me)
At the same time, I got a friend who applied to school next to me. It’s a boarding school as well, a sbp school. Every weekend or every 2 weeks, I went there and spend my time with her. And of course, I made friends too. Gosh, intelligent students around me? I can’t relate HAHAHAHA they don’t even have to ask me when I arrived, because they knew it was for my friend. This went for 2 years and I can say that I really had a great time because of it. Exchanging notes and hint for our biggest exam, SPM because why not HAHAHAHAHA. Then, SPM ended and we all go to different path. My main point for this, I even have (many) friends from other school as well (applause)




Matriculations life? I’m happy as well, but my circle of friends getting smaller due to lack of free time and kind of closed because some people didn’t really open up to make some friends. I used ‘smile’ as my first weapon but guess I failed. Yeah, we were having packed schedule and don’t really go out. Weekends spent with close friends also. I only stick with my ‘gang’, classmates and my roommates, OML <3 Other than that, I didn’t enjoy joining any clubs or sports at the moment, so I guess that’s one of the reasons. A year of matriculations with the friends that I only have was a paradise indeed.




And now, here I am, as a student at one of the university located at somewhere in peninsular, really make it wide range now. i met new friends from matric also, heol we didn’t even know each other during that time and now we are all good, thanks heaven. I found friends from all over the states and yeah I developed some personality because for some reasons, people here don’t really comfortable with how sabahan acts. But I don’t really mind it and it is great that people still accept it wholeheartedly (wow it’s my first time using the word). I have many friends here and I, myself still act silly, more friendly, and talkative more than ever.




Somehow, experiences from previous moments of my life keep me composed more, thinking that I don’t want to experience it again. It hurts to be honest, because friends are made to keep us company, be there when we need em and stick together no matter what happen. However, we are talking about human nature, which is not perfect despite how bad we want em to be. Always bear in mind that quality over quantity. No matter how many friends you have, it’s either 10 or 100 or 1000 people, keep yourself to people who you know you can rely onto, put your trust on em and keep em like a pearl. If you don’t find one, then be one. Be that kind of person that others want to be friend and keep you and believe in you with everything. It’s not easy, but don’t think that you are useless and not important just because you haven’t found one. The best will come. Thank you xoxo (':










To all of my friends, I'll take this moment to apologize for everything I've done, either my words, actions or other stuff. I'm sorry for taking y'all for granted before. I hope things will get better between us. And thank you (': 

13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112
- A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

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