sweet and sour

 

hello guys. 

Guess it’s my second entry in June, and there’s so many things on my mind that I wish I could put into words. I think I write a lot this year, but maybe not everything is posted here. I don’t know what should I do with this blog to be honest. It’s like this is my one of safe place but it’s not safe at all. Em I think this gonna be a short entry with a long paragraph hmm, let’s just write anything xD 

Anyways, I’ve watched a korean movie just now -Sweet and Sour. It’s just like a typical romance movie with a plot twist that I’ve never thought of. It takes a while to understand the plot twist and it angered me a lil bit hahaha it’s just I got too emotional watching it. (If you haven’t watched this, i might spill spoiler hehe) there’s a couple, male lead (ML) and female lead (FL), yeah it’s like a sweet and romantic couple at first, happy spending time with each other but once the ML got a job and departed to another huge company, he got busier and met another female coworker (FC). They had to do a big project because apparently they’re the new aces. I was on edge because the FC became bolder and flirted with the ML. ML and FL are living together but with FL working on shift so she’s always exhausted while ML had to drive back and forth from their home to new company and it takes time. ML needs to pull on nighters to finish up the project after project and spent less time with FL. But it got worse after FL got pregnant. Yeah he wanted to spend time with FL but the project kept him on the office longer. well, at some point they argued and it took a toll on ML and when the FC approached him, he kissed her. HE KISSED HIM. THEY WERE KISSING. Bruh, I cried. It hurts my heart so much. I hate that scene so much that I wish it wasn’t there. Okay back to the movie. After the argument, they never contacted each other, never talked about the vacation they planned for Christmas, just nothing. The ML spent his happy moments, working and laughing, sleeping with FC and I still cried HAHAHA. Then after a while, he feels empty because he always sees baby here and there. Guess he wanted his girlfriend after all. When the project ended, he wanted to go back to FL and go to the vacation together. He went to the airport by a cab and OKAY SO HERES TO PLOT TWIST!!!! Apparently, FL likes another man, with a same name but different figure so let’s just call him HY. so, HY bumped into ML while running to FL. I really went blank when the flashbacks showed goshhh. 

Okay here’s the explanation, yes ML and FL have a happy life together but when ML started to get busier, FL felt neglected and empty. FL met HY and got closer to him (maybe because ML and HY have the same name) so it makes sense that she needed someone else that wanted her more and gave more attention. So while ML and FL continued their relationship, they’re getting apart slowly, then FL spent more time with HY. Everything while the relationship still going on. But ML was too busy with his project and FC. Well FC was busy flirting too hm. Then what happened at the airport was both ML and HY were running towards FL but they bumped and fell down. FL only focused on HY and pretend that she didn’t know ML, then continued to enter the airport to go to the vacation for Christmas WHICH ML and FL had planned before. FL found her partner HY and ML tried to make a relationship with FC. 

This is frustrating to be honest. I hate both main characters. I just hate how they didn’t have closure but make a move on someone else so for me, that’s basically cheating. Anyways, I CRIED. Over a movie. And it’s not like my partner cheated on me and kissed another girl, but at that moment, I feel betrayed. I’m afraid to fall in love and I don’t want the love to fade. It’s scary to think that at one time you’re happy with your partner then at one time you just sick with each others. I cried because yeah, I experienced heart break. I haven’t fully moved on and healed but I don’t think I love him anymore. I know it’s common for other country to kiss and all, so I guess the physical gesture hurts me the most. He kissed other woman and she hugged other men. (Idk if they kissed tho) it’s just hurts. Maybe another reason for me feeling hurt is, I often confessed to my crushes and they rejected me which I’m okay. But after that they crawled back to me time by time because they know they got my attention and their gfs just busy or it’s just not enough. They took advantage of my feelings which I really didn’t realize until I took some time to think about it. Hahahaha 

Gosh, it’s getting long. I don’t have the thing to give review or telling the plot, I just wanna share my feeling about the movie that makes me think about my past again. And the fact that I CRIED so hard hahahahaha okay gtg, BYE! 

---

13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112 - A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

---

Grey

 

Hello pals. It’s already June, half of 2021 has passed and things haven’t been the best for the first half of the year. It’s so chaotic, messy and pathetic to most of us right now. Be it for students, teenagers, young adults who tried to adjust with working life, all our parents who think about every second on how to survive these days, apparently everyone is trying our best to live to the fullest despite the emotional pain and physical ones as well. 

Tonight is just the same night as before. I tried to sleep, I tried to write. Well I’ve been trying to write anything but I always ended up going straight to sleep instead. But when I tried to sleep, my mind wandering around and looking for stuff that comfortable enough to say here. Of course there’s  a lot I wanted to talk about but it’s really getting harder to put it into words. The more I tried, the longer the sentence and my intentions getting swayed away. It’s honestly so frustrating and annoying. 

Ahh, I’ve been watching Grey’s Anatomy these days. Someone suggested it before but I wasn’t into any drama yet since I only watched animes. It’s really my guilty pleasure because I need to get my mind off from overthinking about the jobless and troublemaker I am. But I can’t. I still can’t. The animes have so many life lessons and quotes that my mind can’t apprehend because I tried to ignore it but it’s too damn good to be ignored. But watching the show (greys anatomy) kinda hit me harder because apparently, becoming a surgeon is what I’ve been wanting since I was in primary 5-6. So safe to say that I’ve been thinking about it for more than a decade. 

A decade, sure it isn’t a short time but I can’t say that I did much to achieve it tho. I really didn’t put much effort to achieve that dream. It’s like I’d love to become a surgeon but I’m letting it go without trying at all. I watched it, every episode with a pain that keep poking into my mind, my heart. Been telling why tf I didn’t try so hard years ago, just so I could become one of it. There’s so many things that make me realise that I really couldn’t make it even if I try now. I’m trying my hard to understand myself, my attitude, my ability during years of my schools and degree. It’s not me degrading myself, it’s just me being rational so that i didn’t waste any more time to become a thing that I maybe can’t be. Does it sounds like I’m degrading, downplaying myself? Well..

I’ve talked about this to my bestie, about this sudden memory of mine and she said I should go for it. If only studying medicine isn’t that expensive, I’d probably go. It’s funny that I don’t have anything to make myself feel better. It’s saddening because at this point, I’m just regretting every chance I wasted, every moment that i took for granted, every person that I neglected and every, every second of now that I can only write this about instead thinking about my future. It’s maddening that I’m still alive and doing nothing is the only job I have right now. It’s such a shame. It’s just, a waste of time. For me to be living. 

Hmm, again. It’s another entry with a sad thoughts from me. I can never move on from 15-year-old me. Goodnight. 

---

13121 - Wish You Were Here - 032112 - A Fake :) Can Hide A Million T_T - ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~! (:

---